The First Blame Game in Marriage

And the man said, The woman whom thou gavest to be with me, she gave me of the tree, and I did eat. And the Lord God said unto the woman, What is this that thou hast done? And the woman said, The serpent beguiled me, and I did eat. (Genesis 3:12, 13 KJV)


Earlier on in the blogs, I established
1. God's verdict on the creation was : good
2. God put Adam in the garden to tend and dress it
3. God decided that it was not good for man to be alone so he made help meet for him
4. Adam did appreciate the gesture saying: this is now the bone of my bone and the flesh of my flesh. Appropriating it and even naming her: she shall be called a woman! 

Given the account above, how come in verses 12-13 there was a blame game? Note that so far, there had been 3 parties involved in the harmonious relationship. God, Adam, The woman. The appearance of the fourth party before things turned pear shaped deserves a close scrutiny. In my opinion, harmonious relationship Between the two (husband and wife) is designed to be maintained by their relationship to Each other and to God. After all, God is the manufacturer, designer and gave us the instructions, manual to follow for our ultimate good. When fourth parties are involved, bringing suggestions that are contrary to what the three had agreed to, and operate by, then there is bound to be mistrust, blame, ...

The fourth party in marriage could be anything or anyone. In this case, it is the devil. Many times it is friends of either the wife or the husband. It usually comes like suggestions. Like the serpent said here: has God said... Friends may first come and suggest to you: did he really love you, did she not disappoint you before? Men are not to be trusted you know? Remember how your sister was thrown out late in marriage, don't you think you need to provide a soft landing in case things go pear shaped... There could be millions of suggestions and thoughts that would serve as the fourth party. Fourth parties as in the case here may appeal to our reasoning. They could appeal to our sensual appetite, our desire, emotions, greed, weakness, past experience... And these things will come in marriage. They are inevitable. 

Many people like Adam will blame the other person. The woman you gave me.... Or like the woman (for she had not been named Eve as of this time in the Bible) would blame the fourth party, the serpent beguiled me. There are always people, things, situations to blame. But blame usually does not absolve us from the responsibility or the consequences of our action. 
When Jesus gave the parable of the wise and the foolish building houses, he established that the storm would come. That's certain. But that we should build our house on the rock. Yes the sand may be appealing. That may be what all others do. Building on the sand may be in vogue, it may be the trend. Yet, a wise man will take heed and prepare for the storms.
 
What then shall we do? 
1. Be wise, build your family on the Rock of Ages. Depend on the God that established the relationship in the first place that He is able to keep you both. 
2. Be aware that fourth party could be the devil, but he does not come like the serpent any longer. It could come in any form as mentioned above.
3. Do all in your power to keep the fourth party out.

                                Enjoy your marriage.
                                  It is God's blessing